I always thought that I would meet him when I was casually reading a magazine at a coffee shop. Or that I would bump into him while picking up the same dvd at the local video store. Or that I would find him waiting in line at a concert of our shared favorite rapper. I could never get rid of that persistent little thought in the back of my mind, saying “what if today, of all days, is the day I will meet him?” So I always made sure I was wearing those jeans that made my butt look good, or that skirt with some sexy leg action. It never happened. I tried pushing this thought away as much as possible, and instead, focus on my personal growth and development.
This approach worked. I dedicated my life to my law studies, deliberating about my entrepreneurial plans after graduation, and spending time with my friends who would soon leave the country. Life was as good as it gets while being a law student - which is pretty much not that great to begin with, but kinda OK. When you least expect it, it will happen. I met him on a day I was extremely unmotivated to study for my finals. I felt crap, I looked crap, and my love life was crap. I decided that it would be a great idea to download one of those online dating apps. Everything suddenly seems like a genius plan if it can give you a reason to avoid studying. It was all fun and games until he asked me out for drinks. I quickly looked at my reflection in the mirror, as I was sitting in my bed surrounded by my constitutional law outlines, pints of chocolate chip ice cream, and food delivery orders. I was wearing my least flattering joggers, my hair was a greasy mess, and I had 10 new friends chilling on my forehead. Yeah, I did not think so.
So, weeks passed. I handed in my last essay on the role of emotions in moral judgments. I was finally free from law school, and most importantly - very, very bored. When you least expect it, it will happen. After not talking for weeks, the same invitation for drinks was extended, since I just finished my finals. He did not forget about me. I was impressed. However, I was not in the mood for a date. Going to some bar with a person I have never met before, just for the sake of trying to hold an interesting conversation with some very uninteresting guy who is only interested in checking me of his literal to “do” list, did not seem like the right thing to celebrate my law school finals freedom. I was trying to find any excuse to cancel this date and just enjoy a nice evening with my favorite companions: Ben, Jerry & Netflix. But I could not find any sufficient reason that did not make me seem like a lousy person, so I gave in to my little persistent thought I had in the back of my mind. Maybe, today would be the day.
When you least expect it, it will happen. That day was the day. It is funny how we always try to seek a pattern, stability and some sense of control in life. How scary would life be if everything would just be completely random. The (un?)fortunate truth is that having control over how certain things in our life will play out is an illusion. Our perfect scenarios rarely play out the way we want them to. Maybe that makes life not very romantic - but it still makes for a good story. And I will settle for that.
Have you ever struggled with having expectations and your actual love story?
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