Why I Don’t Believe in the Law of Attraction

I never believed in the law of attraction this generation holds so dearly. I grew up believing in a different concept. The concept that what comes up, must come down again. The idea of life being both good and bad; yin and yang.

You cannot receive something from life without it taking away something from you as well. If you try to win without losing, you are trying to cheat life. Even the best cheater can’t out-cheat life, or rather death, itself.

You will never be able to manifest a perfect life without pain, sorrows, or losses, because life itself is not interested in perfection. Life is unbothered about you living your best life, what you deserve, or want so strongly. Life just is. And in its being, life will perpetually try to find its equilibrium: to find peace and balance in an existence of opposing influences and forces.

It’s not about manifesting the good and avoiding the bad; it’s not about always winning and never losing; it’s about finding your inner peace and power, to experience life fully, and to learn how to deal with both the ups and the downs.

2020 was a year that reminded me of this concept again. From day to day normalcy I took for granted, to the life & career changes I worked years for to accomplish; this year was supposed to be thé year I would figure everything out - instead, 2020 challenged everything.

Now that I am concluding my 25th year on this planet, I look back at a year that will forever leave its imprints on me. Aside from 25 being a confusing year in itself (I don’t think any of my 25-year old friends are in the same chapter of their lives: it’s either moving in together, getting married and thinking about kids, or living their best single life, traveling the world and focusing on their careers), moving to a new country and city during a pandemic is not the best timing. I struggled with feelings of doubt, loneliness, isolation, anxiety & uncertainty. I hit my lowest of lows, and almost let these feelings get the better of me.

And right when I was ready to give up, the scales of life tipped to the opposing side. The strength to trust in me and my path returned to me, and made me believe in the timing of life again. I found new love in and for my life. I was able to travel to one of my dearest cities in the world: New York City. A place so magical, it always reminds me of the inner magic in me. This was life telling me that what goes down, must come up again.

So here I am, ready to start my 26th chapter with new lessons and reminders of life. I don’t know what this year will have in store for me (but, do we ever), but I do know that whatever it is, I will have to power to both experience and overcome it.



xo Lilia



  1. October 4, 2020 / 12:15

    I love this post so much. “Life just is.” I agree, and that’s why I believe inner peace is so important, the flexibility of acceptance, and yet strength at the same time <3

  2. October 4, 2020 / 13:05

    I tried to use the law of attraction when applying for my dream job. I didnt get it. I was more dissapointed than if i would say “lets make the best out of it”. I love this idea of balance so much more. I think what is happening in the world is proof that law of attraction just doesnt work…

  3. Steeephi
    October 4, 2020 / 14:17

    I totally aggree, in my opinion the law of attraction is against all logic.. how do they explain why for example also positive people die in car crashes? You have to take life as it is. Being positive is good because you enjoy your life more then, but not if you expect something happening because of it.

  4. sandra
    October 4, 2020 / 14:38

    balance is everything! i agree! I think that the problem is not the law of attraction itself cause everything is energy and it’s not about living just the good part of life. Life is because death is too. i noticed that people focused on the result as a child who make a wish and want it and that’s it so they disappointed most of the time. this is the problem a closed mind. when i read about law of attraction there are two points that people forget when they don’t have what they wanted and for me it’s The 2 most important things in life (and not just concerning the law of attraction). most often we want something or someone so deeply but it’s not good for us, or we think we need that but we don’t we need something else or someone else.. sometimes we experience sometimes we don’t and it’s all good cause i do believe that everything in life is for a reason. but we know that later. i know the light cause i know the shadow, and the shadow does not always have to be a bad or horrible thing, it’s as you said just life. someone told me that the difference between people is not what they experience but how they react and the perception they have about them. in my experience, life always had a good timing and my best experiences are always these i didn’t plan for. I studied law but at first i didn’t expect to go to law school and i always remembered my first day this feeling to be exactly in the right place even if it was the hardest moment of my life. this is my second point that people forget : let it go and see what happens! maybe their wish came true but they just don’t see or it’s not how they plan. that’s why i love the alchemist book by P.Coelho the main important thing is not the result but how far we’re come.
    i’m grateful to all of your content, work it was so helpful during the past months (i struggled with the same thing alone in my apt) so i just want to say thank you! you’re really inspirational not just by your talent but also by the way you live your life. wish you the best :) sorry for my english it’s not my first langage and i’m not fluent !! have a great night ! (it’s late here ;) )

  5. Shriya Das
    October 4, 2020 / 17:48

    Wow what a refreshing log post and other youtube videos are awesome you are so beautiful also….

  6. October 5, 2020 / 03:27

    I totally agree with you! However, I do believe in the Law of Attraction to a certain extent. If you put out good energy then you will most likely to receive it back and vice versa. But as you said, there are both wins & losses. Even if you are the most positive person in the world, you will face some struggles. Knowing that life has its ups & downs makes easier to follow this journey called ‘life’. You know that the struggles you face are only temporarily and will help you learn valuable life lessons and experiences in the future.

    New Lune recently posted…How To Live Your 20s To The Fullest.

  7. October 12, 2020 / 07:03

    Lilia your hair! Zo mooi! En prachtige post ook.

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